Welcome to Chapter II of my novella ‘Peeved’ releasing week by week! You don’t need to read the first chapter to know what’s happening in this story, but if you’re interested I’ll put the link to it at the bottom.
After a morning of calling out a zebra-crossing slowpoke and a seat-hogging grump on the train, I was feeling pretty good about my new mission to fix the world — one inconsiderate person at a time.
I had another opportunity for commuter justice when we all spilled out onto the Redfern station platform. Redfern Station is deep underground, so most people take the escalators to avoid climbing what feels like fifty flights of stairs. It flows well most days, but, unfortunately, today it was banked up.
Was the escalator working? Oh, definitely.
What was the holdup then?
Two women yakking away, totally oblivious, and blocking the whole escalator. I shed an invisible tear as I looked at the glorious empty space in front of them. By now, I would’ve been halfway up. You see the problem, right?
During peak hour, standers stay left so walkers can pass on the right.
For any people in the northern hemisphere having an aneurysm reading this, I’m in the southern hemisphere.
Everyone kept quietly filing on, even those in a hurry. No one said anything. The line kept growing.
‘Hey!’ I called out.
Everyone turned. I didn’t look at their faces, but I assume they were silently cheering for their saviour to rescue them. The girls didn’t turn though.
‘Hey, ger-erls!’ I called in a sing-song voice.
That got their attention. They turned around and wrinkled their nose in disgust when they realised it was an Indian guy calling out to them.
‘Oi, step to the side — the escalator’s got lanes, ladies!’
They finally noticed the line of people behind them. The girl blocking the path slotted herself right in front of her friend, and soon there was movement.
The rush of commuters hurried up the escalator. No fanfare, no applause—just me, their silent hero, proud of his achievement.
***
Still buzzing from my heroic escalator intervention, I made it into the office. The day flew by. I was happy that most calls were simple with no harsh customers.
But of course, my luck had to run out sometime. Before I tell you this part of the story, gracious reader, I need to tell you about a lovely policy my work put in place.
To squeeze every drop of our time, management rolled out a new policy: we have to answer calls right up until the exact second our shift ends.
Finishing at 5:30 and receive a call at 5:29? You bet you’re answering that phone. No overtime after that either, so if there are any notes we do that in our own time.
Failing to answer results in a written warning.
So there I was, five minutes before the end of shift, when a call came through.
‘Thank you for calling Alliance Technical Support. You’re speaking with Arjun. Can I please get your first name?’
‘Hi Arjun. My name is Teresa.’
‘Hi Teresa. How can I help you today?’
‘My modem isn’t working.’
Teresa’s voice was soft and shaking, the way it can be in old age. I knew this would be a long one.
The one saving grace? We can transfer calls or schedule a callback.
I had plans to see a movie with friends right after work, so I planned to transfer her to a colleague. I used the same technique my colleagues taught me.
‘I’m so sorry to hear that, Teresa. Please tell me more about that issue you’ve got there, and I will note this down and transfer you to the right technician who can help you resolve this one.’
‘Oh, I thought I was speaking to a technician.’
‘Sorry for the mix-up, Teresa. Just tell me the issue and I’ll direct you to the right tech.”
‘Last time I called, I spoke with a technician right away. Why won’t you just help me? I think it’ll be an easy fix for you.’
‘I’m sorry, Teresa. I wish I could, but I’m going to have to pass you through.’
‘You just want to palm me off, don’t you? Got somewhere more important to be?’ Teresa said.
‘No, no, it’s not like that.’
‘Then why don’t you help me?’
Why did she want me to help her so badly? Wouldn’t she rather have someone who actually wanted to help her on the phone?
‘Do you think this will be a quick and easy issue, Teresa?’
‘I think so,’ she said confidently.
She told me the issue, and it sounded easy enough. I didn’t want to have a bad customer satisfaction score, so I decided to just fix it quickly and get her off the phone.
‘I don’t normally do this, Teresa,’ I lied, ‘but I’ll do my best to help you out.
But once I started helping her, I realised the issue was far more complex than it sounded. It involved multiple tests on my end, and she had to unplug phone sockets, try different cables, and crawl around to reach power points — tasks that, understandably, took her quite a while. She wasn’t fast, and she kept forgetting steps. It was like trying to fix Wi-Fi through interpretive dance.
Those in tech support know this exact situation. The issue sounds easy enough, but it turns into a long-winded call that takes up most of the day. I had this happen before, and it’s incredibly frustrating to continue being polite to the customer, especially when I told Teresa I should pass her on to someone else.
I watched the clock on my computer screen. If I didn’t leave now, I was going to be late for the movie. I watched all my colleagues packing up and laughing their way out the door.
‘Teresa, I’m afraid this issue is far too complex for me. I really am going to have to pass you on to a colleague who will do some more thorough testing.’
I stared at the clock. 5:41pm. Rakesh and Priya had already sent me a photo from the popcorn counter — a massive tub of popcorn and a choc top with a message: ‘Get here now or we’re going in without you.’
Teresa, bless her, kept talking. It was like swimming through molasses.
Then she said:
‘You seem to be doing okay so far.’
My headset crackled faintly. I stared at the screen.
All the staff from my shift had gone.
I clenched my jaw. My friends were already halfway through the trailers.
My fingers hovered over the mute button.
That was it. I’d had enough.
‘Yes, but at the beginning of this call, Teresa, I advised you I am not qualified to resolve your issue and a more qualified technician would best resolve it. Instead, you have kept me on this call and wasted both our time when you knew full well that this should have been handled by someone else. Please let me find a technician for you.’
‘No wonder they stuck you on phones — clearly, you’re not smart enough to fix anything. You’re useless.’
My hands shook with fury. I put her on hold. I couldn’t bring myself to hear her voice again. I spoke with one of my colleagues, Maddy. She wasn’t finishing her shift till much later.
I explained the issue to her and set up the warm transfer.
‘Thank you so much for waiting, Teresa. I have my colleague Maddy on the line. She will be able to resolve the rest of the issue for you.’
‘Hi Teresa, I’m Maddy. Arjun told me-’
I shoved everything into my bag and stormed out of the office. I didn’t care about my satisfaction score. Hell, what were the odds management would even listen to the call?
They never do…
Isaiah Prasad 